In my opinion, verbal and nonverbal behavior allow the receiver to indirectly/directly understand what you are trying to convey to the person. Verbal behaviors is to express yourself through word while Nonverbal behavior is to express through your body language, gesture and facial expression, in some cases, it could have been done subconscious by the individual. Many believe that they are able to interpret someone's thoughts or feelings by observing their tone of word and their body language. However, even experts can't interpret body language effectively.
For example would be unconscious habits. I have the tendency to look at my watch a lot. Most people would say that I send message that "I don't like being with this person" But, truthfully, I am a time-conscious person, so I have a weird habit of always checking my watch because I have a strong need to know what time it is. Therefore, body language is very ambiguous. I didn't even know I checked my watch all the time until someone pointed it out to me.
Another example would be that different cultures misunderstanding. In Korea, you bow to express appreciation and respect to the person, usually to someone of a higher position than you at work or someone who is older than you. It would be consider rude if you do not bow. Hence, It is important to study on the culture of the country if you were to visit the country or work in at any of the company.
One observation of a nonverbal interaction between this two stranger in a bus. It happened in a crowded train at around peak hour timing and I was standing. I notices a office lady sitting on the reserved seat and her eyes glued to her smart phone. When the train reaches the next station, an elderly lady walked in and no one was willing to give up the seat for her. There were people, who were seating down, notices her but pretended to not notice her. With minimal space in the train, the elderly woman stood in front of the reserved seat and glared at the office lady, who was sitting at the reserved seat.
After the next station, which is where I was to alight, the working lady looked up and noticed the elderly lady, her eyes looked at the elderly woman direction. She scanned left and right, notices that no one was willing to give up the seat. Without saying a word and with a expressionless face, the office lady let out a heavy sigh and stood out of her seat. The elderly lady glared at the office lady and sat at the reserved seat.
As a third party, I think this nonverbal interaction could have ended quite badly if there were words exchange between the elderly and office lady. Maybe, majority of you think that the office lady was being arrogant. However, I do think that she could have her reasons for her attitude. She could have a bad day at work which led to her attitude, or she could be not feeling well and needed to rest and other possible reasons. Eventually, she did gave up her seat to the elderly lady while others passengers didn't in a crowded train.
Edited 10/2/2016, 8pm.
Commented on:
Angela -> 7Cs
Kok Zheng
7 comments:
Thank you, Mei, for this post. I appreciate all the detail. What makes it problematic are two things: the plethora of sloppy language use and the inaccuracies, including some obvious stereotypes regarding male and female behavior. One of those is when you generalize about husbands and wives quarreling, as if every situation in every country and every culture is the same. In fact, even within one country, and one particular cultural group, there will be variation among couples. It is clear that the image you 'paint' may apply to some couples' interactions, but certainly not all.
So can you avoid overgeneralizing? Please use "in some cases" or "some married couples," and other such phrases.
Here are some other issues to take note of:
1) Verbal behavior are expressing... >>> (subject-verb agreement) ?
2) Verbal and Nonverbal behavior >>> Why use capital letters?
3) ...that your body language, gesture, facial expression, it also can be done subconscious. >>> (sentence structure)
4) Many believe that they can easily understand nonverbal behavior, however, different culture, region, countries behavior differently and a wrong interpretation of a nonverbal behavior, could get yourself in trouble. >>> (run on sentence / wrong use of the word 'behavior')
5) ...by kissing each other cheeks, which i believe that many asian people will find it awkward and weird. >>>
...by kissing each other's cheeks, which I believe many asian people will find awkward.
6) Paralinguistic Cues >>> Why do use the capital letters? Also, is kssing as a form of greeting really paralinguistic?
7) Second example will be that different gender behaving different among each other. >>>
huh?
8) Imagine that you are having a quarrel with your wife/husband, you would realized, well you should realist, that the wife will always win the quarrel even though she could be at fault? >>>
(sentence structure)
9) ... if the husband were to get angry at his wife, he had to live with it.
>>> (verb form)
...if the husband were to get angry at his wife, he WOULD HAVE to live with it.
10) As a teenager, you would tend to talk to a stranger who is a teenager, there won't need formality and you could basically be free in whatever you do. >>> (sentence structure)
I'd be happy to discuss these.
Hi Brad, thank you for informing my mistakes and areas that i can improve. I had already edited my blogpost so please do look at it
Thank you,
Meiying.
Just a brief comment: The observation you now describe is much more closely aligned with the actual assignment. Thank you!
Hello Mei Ying, thank you letting me know that you are not being uncomfortable with me when you keep looking at your watch as it is just your habit. I appreciate that you empathize the office lady instead of judging her. I totally agree with your views on how culture will affect verbal and non-verbal communication.
Hi Mei Ying,
I enjoyed reading your post.I think it is nice that you thought about what the office lady might be feeling and not judging her for not giving up her seat. I think it is funny, to some extent, that giving up your own seat is suppose to be voluntarily and yet the old lady is unhappy when the office lady doesn't give up her seat. I think being in Singapore could be factored into this reaction. What do you think?
I think it's interesting that you mentioned about your own nonverbal cues and you know that it might appear negatively to other people. With that, do you have intention to change that habit of yours?
Cheers,
Angela
Hi Meiying,
I always see this happening in the train whenever it is at a peak timing. Sometimes i just feel like standing up for the elderly, but as usual, Singaporeans like to stare us no matter what we do be it right or wrong. In some countries, reserved seats are very strictly followed. Citizens of the country would not even sit on them because they know that it is probably not etiquette. But for Singaporeans, we are gambling on the probability that no elderly, pregnant or disabled would be in the same cubicle as us. Therefore i feel that it is not right for the lady to let out a heavy sigh also. But at the same time, it is not polite of the elderly to glare at the seat as it feels demanding and the office lady did not owe her a living to give up the seat to her. What do you feel about giving up non-priority seats?
Cheers!
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